Apology Letter to Parents

I've been meaning to do this for a while, and Thanksgiving seems like as good a time as any. So here it goes:


Dear Mom and Dad,

I want to formally apologize for my behavior during the years 1999 through... well, 2011, with a particular focus on 99-07. I'm sorry for all the time you asked me, "How was school?" and I said, "fine." I'm sorry for all the times I whined about chores. I wasted so much time complaining when I could have just done the chore and done something else. I'm sorry for every time I thought Mom sat around doing nothing all day (the girls have accused me of this and it's definitely not the case)! I'm sorry for every time I cried or threw a fit over something trivial. I'm sorry for every time I was more interested in what was on T.V. than what you had to say. I'm sorry I ever took either of you for granted. You are the most patient, loving parents anyone could ask for!

Love,
Rebecca

P.S. Grandparents, this is for you too ;)

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I know I'm not technically a parent, but some days I feel like one! I laugh when I look back and think of all the times I thought it was so hard to be a kid, and so easy to be an adult. Sure it sucks being told what to do, but it's harder NOT knowing, going on instinct, hoping you're doing the right thing. I'm getting better at trusting my instincts. I've grown up more in the past few months than I have in the past few years. I'm not so scared of what's to come anymore.

Speaking of which, I've made my decision. I'm becoming an AmeriCorps member, but leaving Organization X in August. That way, if I get into grad school, I can go straight into it. I was thinking about staying on until December because I was scared--will I get a job afterwards? Will I be able to pay my bills? But I can't stay in a job out of fear. I have to move on, and when August comes around, I know I'll be ready.


--Rebecca

Big Decision

So I know I haven't posted in a while. Between juggling the girls' tutors, their grades, making sure their service hours get done, AND doing rides/checking chores/other things that aren't technically my job on top of that, it's been pretty crazy around here.

But things just got real, way realer than the minutia of the everyday.

I got an e-mail from my boss telling me I can opt to be an official AmeriCorps member now! I would LOVE to do that. But I have to make a choice--stay till this August and recieve less money towards my education award, or stay till December and recieve more money. This means I have to start making some major life decisions, which I'd already started thinking about in the past week anyway. Decisions like...

1. Is this job rewarding enough to stay on for an extra 5 months? That's 5 extra months to work on my relationships with the girls, and with my bosses (reccomendations, anyone?). Will I be able to stand it, or will I be ready to get the H-E-double hockey sticks outta here by August?

2. Do I want to start a master's program this August (almost don't even want to open that can of worms)? Can I start a master's program in January? Or would I have to wait until August 2013? Is that too long to wait?

3. Will I need the money enough to warrant staying on longer? Grad school is flipping expensive, and though I know my family would help me, extra money never hurts.


In conclusion, help.

--Rebecca

One of those Days...

This is one of those days where I feel like I'm working really hard but getting nothing right. This is one of those days where no one is communicating with me. This is one of those days where the girls keep criticising me for every little thing, and I can't let it affect me or I'll explode.

*Sigh*

I didn't want to write another negative entry, because I feel like I'm making everyone worry.

Sure TODAY is one of those days, but Saturday was a great day. Nina, Wilma and N and I worked in an old folks' home. Nina cooked a buttload of scrambled eggs, N made bacon, and Wilma and I were on roll control. The residents were SO much fun. They were talking to us and joking around with us and laughing up a storm. N practiced her Spanish with one of the residents, and even called out Bingo numbers in English and Spanish. Nina was helping a resident with a craft. Wilma had some very profoud things to say during the reflection afterward. Never have I been so proud of the girls. They engaged with the residents and really cheered them up. They took the PFO really seriously.

Thinking about that is already making me feel better. I'm going to make a list of other things that have gone well lately:

TTHGWL:
-I've been good about updating the bullitan board.
-I've gone to the girls' schools every week. Even though I usually only see them in passing, I think they like seeing me around.
-I completed all the PFO forms so far and am going to turn them into the school tomorrow.
-Even though Nina drives me crazy sometimes, we're pretty close.
-I feel really comfortable working with Cris.
-The girls make me laugh a lot, and I make them laugh a lot.
-I left the girls' encouraging notes on their report cards and asked them a few of them to meet with me to discuss grades.
-There are 3 home weekends in November (meaning 4-day weekends for me)!!! Plus Mom, Dad and Rach are coming to visit me this weekend :)


--Rebecca