Relationships are HARD.
For one thing, I've been bad about keeping in touch with family, friends from high school and college. I work weird hours and when I'm not working, I'm generally with Lucas.
On the flip side, I spend a LOT of time with the people I work and live with (i.e. scholars and houseparents). I'm still building relationships with all of these people, which is difficult first because there are 11 of them, and second, because we see each other every. single. day. So if you have a beef with someone or they have a beef with you, you have zero space.
I think I value relationships a lot more now than I ever have before. That's because, unlike in college, I don't see my friends every day. Unlike in high school, I don't see my family every day, or even every month. I don't even see Lucas every day because of the nature of my job. I'm feeling... not homesick, but peoplesick.
So... if you're reading this... feel free to give me a call :)
--Rebecca
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Firsts and Realizations
Firsts:
-Speeding ticket. So embarassing and expensive.
-Credit card bill that I paid all by myself! Well, after a 20-minute Q&A session with Dad...
-Time I have ever attempted to freestyle rap. Emphasis on attempted.
Realizations:
One of the things I realized recently is that I do not take criticism well. And at this job, it comes at me from all angles: the girls criticize my cooking, my houseparents criticize me for not being confident enough in my role as a leader, and the office criticizes me for, frankly, some really stupid stuff. For example, the other day Ms. Graw said someone from the school (absolutely no indication as to whom) thought something I wore to school was inappropriate (no information as to what the item of clothing was). Please note that during this conversation, I was wearing dress pants and a turtleneck. Just saying.
Anyway, I'm trying to see everyone's criticism as constructive, and not take it so personally. I think I've already developed a thicker skin. I just keep in mind that I am a good person, and that everybody makes mistakes, even if they're working really hard.
Which brings me to the second thing I learned about myself recently: I am a perfectionist. I set extremely high expectations for myself at this job, largely because I hate letting anyone down, ever. Here's the problem: I am not very detail-oriented. And--this may come as a shock to you--I'm a little spacey. The result of this unlikely combination is, I end up making a lot of small mistakes and being really hard on myself for making them. Not the ideal setup. But again, I remember that I am a good person, I'm working hard, and I'm gonna make mistakes. That's just how it is.
Is giving myself these little pep talks helping? Not really. But venting to Lucas (and, now, to whoever's reading this), is definitely helping. So I'm gonna stick with that.
--Rebecca
-Speeding ticket. So embarassing and expensive.
-Credit card bill that I paid all by myself! Well, after a 20-minute Q&A session with Dad...
-Time I have ever attempted to freestyle rap. Emphasis on attempted.
Realizations:
One of the things I realized recently is that I do not take criticism well. And at this job, it comes at me from all angles: the girls criticize my cooking, my houseparents criticize me for not being confident enough in my role as a leader, and the office criticizes me for, frankly, some really stupid stuff. For example, the other day Ms. Graw said someone from the school (absolutely no indication as to whom) thought something I wore to school was inappropriate (no information as to what the item of clothing was). Please note that during this conversation, I was wearing dress pants and a turtleneck. Just saying.
Anyway, I'm trying to see everyone's criticism as constructive, and not take it so personally. I think I've already developed a thicker skin. I just keep in mind that I am a good person, and that everybody makes mistakes, even if they're working really hard.
Which brings me to the second thing I learned about myself recently: I am a perfectionist. I set extremely high expectations for myself at this job, largely because I hate letting anyone down, ever. Here's the problem: I am not very detail-oriented. And--this may come as a shock to you--I'm a little spacey. The result of this unlikely combination is, I end up making a lot of small mistakes and being really hard on myself for making them. Not the ideal setup. But again, I remember that I am a good person, I'm working hard, and I'm gonna make mistakes. That's just how it is.
Is giving myself these little pep talks helping? Not really. But venting to Lucas (and, now, to whoever's reading this), is definitely helping. So I'm gonna stick with that.
--Rebecca
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Letter from the Lead Houseparent
Found this letter in my box yesterday with a Starbucks gift card, and wanted to share it with you all. It made me happy :)
Oct. 10, 2011
Dear Rebecca,
I know you were kind of thrown into your job, and it may have been like sink or swin, but I just want to let you know you tread water like a pro. In translation, you are doing a great job setting up your PFO events, posting them and hopefully turning in golden tickets to the girls' school :) The efforts you make that go above and beyond do not go unnoticed; fixing the homework check book, entering daily logs, preparing meals, doing crazy rides... everything outside of ASC "duties" but also inclusive are PFO and Academics are greatly appreciated.
This is merely a token of my gratitude for doing your job and going above when needed. I wish I could do more! But since I can't, have a cup of caffeine on me, and keep up the good work! Remember: don't be afraid to ask questions.
With Appreciation,
Cris
Oct. 10, 2011
Dear Rebecca,
I know you were kind of thrown into your job, and it may have been like sink or swin, but I just want to let you know you tread water like a pro. In translation, you are doing a great job setting up your PFO events, posting them and hopefully turning in golden tickets to the girls' school :) The efforts you make that go above and beyond do not go unnoticed; fixing the homework check book, entering daily logs, preparing meals, doing crazy rides... everything outside of ASC "duties" but also inclusive are PFO and Academics are greatly appreciated.
This is merely a token of my gratitude for doing your job and going above when needed. I wish I could do more! But since I can't, have a cup of caffeine on me, and keep up the good work! Remember: don't be afraid to ask questions.
With Appreciation,
Cris
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Rolling with the Punches
So the 3 girls involved in the Cell Phone incident--namely, Nina, Julia and Sylvie--have all been suspended from Organization X for 2 weeks as of today. This was decided after a 2-hour-long meeting with Dr. Ross, the girls' parents, and 2 houseparents. And boy am I glad I wasn't there, because Maya and Cris seemed really stressed afterwards.
I don't know a lot of details, since I wasn't there. But what I'm hearing from Cris is that the houseparents (and perhaps even office staff) are trying to find grounds to kick Sylvie out of the program. She just isn't owning up to any of the lies she's told in the past few weeks (unlike Nina, but Julia isn't owning up, either). As I say all the time, this program is *NOT* for students with behavioral problems; it's an academic program, for scholars. We are not equipped to deal with psychological issues like the ones Sylvie clearly has. I have heard houseparents, scholars and even a few of the girls' mentors express that they would like Sylvie out of the program.
Obviously Nina and Julia are also at fault concering the Cell Phone Incident. The difference is, Sylvie has been in the program for 3 years and many similar situations have been linked to her. Nina and Julia have only been here a few months. On the other hand, they haven't given us a great first impression in that short amount of time.
Personally, I think Sylvie should be gone and Nina and Julia should get another chance. But of course, I'm biased because I have a good relationship with Nina. As of now, nothing is decided yet except the 2-week suspension. I think the final outcome will be either no one gets kicked out, or just Sylvie gets kicked out. But hey, you never know what the office is gonna do.
As for me, I'm a little stressed. On top of the drama, we had a shadow come today. She was nice, but I was so not prepared to give a house tour and entertain her while cooking dinner. Oh that's the other thing; I unexpectedly had to cook dinner. Sloppy joes, which believe me, I didn't pick. None of the girls even eat sloppy joes. Come to think of it, I'm pretty sure I've never eaten one until today. It was kind of gross. I think 1 girl out of 8 ate them, and I don't even blame them...
PLUS Gloria had a meltdown. We had to usher all but the 3 girls out of the house, so the 3 girls could pack their things. We hung out at a past employee's house, where Gloria couldn't do her homework because the other girls were being too loud and their computer was too slow. She was crying and complaining and not letting anyone help her. For once, I didn't have very much sympathy for her. Sometimes unexpected shit happens and you just have to roll with the punches.
--Rebecca
I don't know a lot of details, since I wasn't there. But what I'm hearing from Cris is that the houseparents (and perhaps even office staff) are trying to find grounds to kick Sylvie out of the program. She just isn't owning up to any of the lies she's told in the past few weeks (unlike Nina, but Julia isn't owning up, either). As I say all the time, this program is *NOT* for students with behavioral problems; it's an academic program, for scholars. We are not equipped to deal with psychological issues like the ones Sylvie clearly has. I have heard houseparents, scholars and even a few of the girls' mentors express that they would like Sylvie out of the program.
Obviously Nina and Julia are also at fault concering the Cell Phone Incident. The difference is, Sylvie has been in the program for 3 years and many similar situations have been linked to her. Nina and Julia have only been here a few months. On the other hand, they haven't given us a great first impression in that short amount of time.
Personally, I think Sylvie should be gone and Nina and Julia should get another chance. But of course, I'm biased because I have a good relationship with Nina. As of now, nothing is decided yet except the 2-week suspension. I think the final outcome will be either no one gets kicked out, or just Sylvie gets kicked out. But hey, you never know what the office is gonna do.
As for me, I'm a little stressed. On top of the drama, we had a shadow come today. She was nice, but I was so not prepared to give a house tour and entertain her while cooking dinner. Oh that's the other thing; I unexpectedly had to cook dinner. Sloppy joes, which believe me, I didn't pick. None of the girls even eat sloppy joes. Come to think of it, I'm pretty sure I've never eaten one until today. It was kind of gross. I think 1 girl out of 8 ate them, and I don't even blame them...
PLUS Gloria had a meltdown. We had to usher all but the 3 girls out of the house, so the 3 girls could pack their things. We hung out at a past employee's house, where Gloria couldn't do her homework because the other girls were being too loud and their computer was too slow. She was crying and complaining and not letting anyone help her. For once, I didn't have very much sympathy for her. Sometimes unexpected shit happens and you just have to roll with the punches.
--Rebecca
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
The Truth Will Out!
Okay, remember the Cell Phone Incident, in which N's phone disappeared and she blamed Sylvie for stealing it? (If not it's explained in an entry entitled "aaaand I jinxed myself.") Well, today the truth came out about what happened! Well, a few more pieces of the puzzle, anyway...
So Nina has been getting into a LOT of trouble lately. She recently was forced to switch from being roommates with Sylvie to being roommates with N., which nobody understood because Nina and N. dislike each other more than anyone. I was told that N.'s mom didn't want her hanging out with Sylvie and Julia, as she felt they were a bad influence, and the only room switch that could even happen was those two. Anyway, shortly after the room switch, Maya told me she'd talked to Nina's mother. Nina's mom said Nina had called her crying, saying she didn't want to be in the program anymore. Maya asked me to talk to Nina, since I had the closest relationship with her, and comfort her.
Today, I called Nina into the office and asked her how she was doing with the new room switch. She said fine. I asked how it was being roommates with N. She said fine. You get the picture...
An hour later, Nina asks to talk to me, and confesses to taking N.'s phone! She said it was a group effor with her and Julia and Sylvie, but that SHE had been the one to actually take it out of N.'s room! I was shocked and proud of her for telling me the truth.
Also, not to toot my own horn here but I was really proud that Nina came to me! It just showed that we have a good relationship and that she trusts me. That made me really happy. Because I know she's a troublemaker and a whiner but at the end of the day, how can you not love that face? I mean really. I'm a sucker for stuff like that.
--Rebecca
So Nina has been getting into a LOT of trouble lately. She recently was forced to switch from being roommates with Sylvie to being roommates with N., which nobody understood because Nina and N. dislike each other more than anyone. I was told that N.'s mom didn't want her hanging out with Sylvie and Julia, as she felt they were a bad influence, and the only room switch that could even happen was those two. Anyway, shortly after the room switch, Maya told me she'd talked to Nina's mother. Nina's mom said Nina had called her crying, saying she didn't want to be in the program anymore. Maya asked me to talk to Nina, since I had the closest relationship with her, and comfort her.
Today, I called Nina into the office and asked her how she was doing with the new room switch. She said fine. I asked how it was being roommates with N. She said fine. You get the picture...
An hour later, Nina asks to talk to me, and confesses to taking N.'s phone! She said it was a group effor with her and Julia and Sylvie, but that SHE had been the one to actually take it out of N.'s room! I was shocked and proud of her for telling me the truth.
Also, not to toot my own horn here but I was really proud that Nina came to me! It just showed that we have a good relationship and that she trusts me. That made me really happy. Because I know she's a troublemaker and a whiner but at the end of the day, how can you not love that face? I mean really. I'm a sucker for stuff like that.
--Rebecca
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Frusturations with my Boss
...after all, who doesn't have them?
F.W.B.
1. Dr. Ross called me twice in one week to ask me for very basic info: once to ask for Sylvie's primary guardian's cell phone number, and once to ask for a recent graduate of Organization X's number. Really? She doesn't have this information, but I do? Shouldn't I be calling her with questions like that? Trying to cut her some slack, I thought maybe she was out of the office and didn't have access to that info. But I was out driving around both times when she called and I had that info on me. Wtf.
2. She essentially blamed all the cell phone drama on us houseparents, asking why we didn't notice that Sylvie and N hadn't been talking for two weeks. The reality is, I rarely see any two kids together after school--they're racing around to various extracurricular activities, doing homework, eating dinner at different times. And when the scholars do socialize, it's usually in their rooms, where houseparents aren't hanging out. Surely Dr. Ross doesn't think we saw them being mean to each other and just ignored it... I also take issue with her assuming she knows what goes on in the house, seeing as how she's never BEEN to our house since I've been here (Ms. Graw has been at least 3 times).
3. This one needs a little backstory: the first thing that the ASC from last year told me is, DON'T get sucked into doing filing and office work; it's not your job. Caroline told me the same thing; it's NOT your job. Dr. Ross made all 3 ASC's set up specific times when we were going to come into the office and do paperwork. I decided, rather than stirring up a big conflict, I just straight up wasn't going to come when I said I was. I have no other reason to come into the office, and it's not my job. Evidently, the other ASC's did the same thing. So at this meeting, Dr. Ross and Ms. Graw confronted us about how no one was doing the filing. They were complaining that they were behind and about to get in trouble and that we needed to come in. One ASC just didn't say anything, another very politely said she didn't know this was a priority, and I just got annoyed and started saying I didn't have time to come into the office, it was out of my way and I needed to go home and make dinner for the girls (this was the truth!). Dr. Ross suggested I make something that takes less time next time. This was the last straw. She wants me to shirk my true duties as an ASC to come in and do HER job, so SHE doesn't get in trouble? I held back. But I have got to talk to Ms. Graw about this. It has gone way too far.
4. And this is the icing on the cake. Dr. Ross had emailed us a couple of weeks previously asking if someone would volunteer for an event that took place in the afternoon, during all the ASCs' hours off. Annoyed, she brought up the fact that no one had responded, and told us she needed a yes or no by today. We asked her what the exact hours were when the event would take place, and what would we be doing, in terms of tabling, etc. She did not know the answers to either of those questions. How does she expect us to sign up for something when we don't even know what it is we're doing, let alone the hours??
Arghhhh. I just feel like talking to my bosses should NOT be more stressful than corralling 8 high-school-age girls... but it is. If Dr. Ross doesn't develop some interpersonal skills soon, I'm gonna to have a meltdown at the next meeting. After all, what's she gonna do... FIRE a full-time volunteer, who she's already trying to take advantage of???
--Rebecca
F.W.B.
1. Dr. Ross called me twice in one week to ask me for very basic info: once to ask for Sylvie's primary guardian's cell phone number, and once to ask for a recent graduate of Organization X's number. Really? She doesn't have this information, but I do? Shouldn't I be calling her with questions like that? Trying to cut her some slack, I thought maybe she was out of the office and didn't have access to that info. But I was out driving around both times when she called and I had that info on me. Wtf.
2. She essentially blamed all the cell phone drama on us houseparents, asking why we didn't notice that Sylvie and N hadn't been talking for two weeks. The reality is, I rarely see any two kids together after school--they're racing around to various extracurricular activities, doing homework, eating dinner at different times. And when the scholars do socialize, it's usually in their rooms, where houseparents aren't hanging out. Surely Dr. Ross doesn't think we saw them being mean to each other and just ignored it... I also take issue with her assuming she knows what goes on in the house, seeing as how she's never BEEN to our house since I've been here (Ms. Graw has been at least 3 times).
3. This one needs a little backstory: the first thing that the ASC from last year told me is, DON'T get sucked into doing filing and office work; it's not your job. Caroline told me the same thing; it's NOT your job. Dr. Ross made all 3 ASC's set up specific times when we were going to come into the office and do paperwork. I decided, rather than stirring up a big conflict, I just straight up wasn't going to come when I said I was. I have no other reason to come into the office, and it's not my job. Evidently, the other ASC's did the same thing. So at this meeting, Dr. Ross and Ms. Graw confronted us about how no one was doing the filing. They were complaining that they were behind and about to get in trouble and that we needed to come in. One ASC just didn't say anything, another very politely said she didn't know this was a priority, and I just got annoyed and started saying I didn't have time to come into the office, it was out of my way and I needed to go home and make dinner for the girls (this was the truth!). Dr. Ross suggested I make something that takes less time next time. This was the last straw. She wants me to shirk my true duties as an ASC to come in and do HER job, so SHE doesn't get in trouble? I held back. But I have got to talk to Ms. Graw about this. It has gone way too far.
4. And this is the icing on the cake. Dr. Ross had emailed us a couple of weeks previously asking if someone would volunteer for an event that took place in the afternoon, during all the ASCs' hours off. Annoyed, she brought up the fact that no one had responded, and told us she needed a yes or no by today. We asked her what the exact hours were when the event would take place, and what would we be doing, in terms of tabling, etc. She did not know the answers to either of those questions. How does she expect us to sign up for something when we don't even know what it is we're doing, let alone the hours??
Arghhhh. I just feel like talking to my bosses should NOT be more stressful than corralling 8 high-school-age girls... but it is. If Dr. Ross doesn't develop some interpersonal skills soon, I'm gonna to have a meltdown at the next meeting. After all, what's she gonna do... FIRE a full-time volunteer, who she's already trying to take advantage of???
--Rebecca
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